Pleasant Holidays

time. time is what it takes
to get these thoughts of you out of my mind.

struggle. i struggle with myself
to free these images of you from my head.

tell. i tell myself i no longer care
but i can see through the transparent lie.

crave. i crave for you to want me
to hold me, to be with me, like i do you.

go. why can't i let go
instead i hold onto the feeling that you want me too.

believe. i believe that something is holding you back
but what that is, i don't know.

wait. and so i wait
although deep in my soul i know it won't ever happen.

try. for now i try to exist as friends
which is much harder than i ever imagined.

fear. with each passing day i fear three words, "i found someone"
and that someone is not me.

shake. why can't i shake these feelings of want
to want you near me, to want you to need me.

see. in my dreams i see your every move
and in waking i yearn to know all about you.

call. do i call it an obession or love? that i do not know.
for love is something i've never experienced.

©2001
written on an airplane napkin that says, "pleasant holidays"

stay gold & be well…