shot&scrawled

the passenger

2011-10-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

sad and lost in thought
she sits across from her sister, a princess.
the obsession of every man's desire.
a reflection of herself she wishes
but deep down she knows the truth.
five women share the tiny train compartment
yet she still feels alone.
a days worth of shopping sits besides them
however, none of which are hers.
jokes are made, laughter too
she joins in if only for a minute.
she looks out the window
gazing at the landscape covered in the first snow.
this is where her dreams, her fantasies
become a reality.
there she remains,
eyes and thoughts fixated as the train continues on.

© November 2006
about a woman on the train

pain

2011-10-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

pain.
shooting across my forehead.
neutralizing my senses.
concentrated on my eye sockets.
making them want to explode.
pain still increasing.
not fading away.
pins stick and prick my skin.
is this what death feels like?

© November 2006
written on plane

train

2011-10-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

train.
going backwards.
images blurring on the sides.
stone faced people sit.
trash left by those before.
leaving their mark.
showing that they were there.
i stand.
facing the passengers.
not looking into the future.
somber silence.
music fills my ears.
what if life was a musical?
what would mine represent?
train.
taking me to destinations unknown.
will this stop hold my future?

© November 2006
on train in Chicago

birds

2011-02-06T08:22:00.000-08:00

Birds up in the sky
Flying to places unknown
Bringing you much love

© 2010

fog

2010-11-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Off in the distance
Night comes into view
Engulfed by fog

© October 2010

halloween

2010-10-31T14:46:00.001-07:00

Witches, ghosts, and bats
Lurking throughout the empty streets
Halloween is here

© October 2010

mother's day

2009-06-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

waves crash against rocks
opening their arms to you
your spirit floats on

© May 2009

remembrance ceremony

2009-06-14T13:15:00.000-07:00

Butterflies floating by
Wings dancing amid the sky
I’ll always think of you

© April 2009

Pevil

2009-02-22T15:04:00.000-08:00

beer bust on sundays
engulfed by hot sweaty men
you were there with me

stay gold & be well…

© january 2009

Man on Bus

2009-02-21T17:10:00.000-08:00

man sitting on bus
tearing stories from newspaper
keeping them hidden

stay gold & be well…

© february 20, 2009

Korail Monitors

2008-09-20T15:40:00.000-07:00

Child's Play

2008-09-14T14:00:00.000-07:00

Pleasant Holidays

2008-09-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

time. time is what it takes
to get these thoughts of you out of my mind.

struggle. i struggle with myself
to free these images of you from my head.

tell. i tell myself i no longer care
but i can see through the transparent lie.

crave. i crave for you to want me
to hold me, to be with me, like i do you.

go. why can't i let go
instead i hold onto the feeling that you want me too.

believe. i believe that something is holding you back
but what that is, i don't know.

wait. and so i wait
although deep in my soul i know it won't ever happen.

try. for now i try to exist as friends
which is much harder than i ever imagined.

fear. with each passing day i fear three words, "i found someone"
and that someone is not me.

shake. why can't i shake these feelings of want
to want you near me, to want you to need me.

see. in my dreams i see your every move
and in waking i yearn to know all about you.

call. do i call it an obession or love? that i do not know.
for love is something i've never experienced.

©2001
written on an airplane napkin that says, "pleasant holidays"

stay gold & be well…

The Awakening

2008-09-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

we stood as three against the world
flying high above the grassy hills
together we thought we could conquer all
our bond of strength unbreakable
then one day the wind changed
and that threesome became two

we stood as two against the world
in a field of dandelions of our own
together we thought we could have it all
our will built on determination
then suddenly the wind changed
and now that twosome is a lonely one

©1991, December 05

stay gold & be well…

Night Breeze

2008-09-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

in the night i silently sit
and listen for the night breeze

when it's dark it whispers to me
"son you'll be all right now"

the purple sky is the time i
hear it cry so i wait for it patiently

no matter where i go i always know
that the night breeze is not far behind me

it's a kind of peace i need so much
and never want it to leave me

so as the years go by i'll always wait outside
and listen for the night breeze

©1992, March 28

stay gold & be well…

Call of the Wild

2008-09-14T12:42:00.000-07:00

scared.

scared to leave this place
he's called home for so long.
the security of friends, family, surroundings
to venture in unbeknown territory.

his heart beats rapidly
searching for the answers.
what awaits him there
he has not a clue.

afraid of failure
without even trying.
haunts his soul,
to want, to need, like a child.

life here has become stagnant,
much like a puddle once the storm has passed.
who will catch him when he falls
beneath the cracks into nothingness.

torn between what is known
and that of the unknown.
hoping to regain that of which has left
his heart so long ago.

a mirror reflects the image of a boy
afraid to grab what he yearns, or hopes to achieve.
he knows that home has become
a haven in which he hides.

what is he scared of,
only the word failure comes to mind.
a word with generic meaning
for to succeed he only needs to be happy.

life is on hold now
paralyzed to leave the nest and make his claim .
he remains embedded in a world of fiction
where he is any given character.

the vociferous call of the land
echoing in the tomb of his mind.
all that is needed to begin is the first step
in creating himself.

©1994

stay gold & be well…

Window Shopper

2008-09-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

I watch from a distance
camouflaged.
Alone you sit in the dark
tucked away in the deepest corner.
Only the light of the moon
illuminates your face.
The blackened circles around your eyes
show the aging wrinkles.
Your youthful glow has all but vanished
revealing the fatigue that consumes you.

It's only during the loneliness of night
you allow these emotions to emerge.
Afraid to show your weakness
you keep them locked away in the diary of your heart.
A tear sparkles under the moonlight
leading the trail for more to come.
They cascade down your rosy cheeks
creating a stagnate puddle on the ground below.
Tears for the man you now take care of
a man who once took care of you.

©2001
written on the train in Chicago

stay gold & be well…

The Letter

2008-09-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

Days drag by,
and still I watch the television.
5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, 11 o'clock.
The hours when your name is spoken on every channel
by unfamiliar faces painted like Barbies
always behind custom-made desks of artificial wood.

For me, nothing is taken on face value anymore.
To hear them utter your name
a name sweet as any nectar to my lips.
Only now the topic of town gossip
forcing me to accept what waits outside my door.

A stone thrown into placid waters
sank to depths unknown.
Men sift through mounds of coarse dirt
in hopes of finding gold, only to recover bone.

That letter never mailed
discovered in a box of your belongings.
Shadows step forward trapping me in the darkest corner.
Alone, fingers transfixed on the envelope
afraid to open, afraid to hear your voice.

©1991
In memory of Stephanie Lilien

stay gold & be well…

Welcome

2008-09-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

welcome to my little creative space on the web.
a place for the images & words that escape from within.
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stay gold & be well…